DO NOT MESS WITH THE KIDS!

Few days ago while Night of the Living Dead, the subject of kids in horror movies came to my mind.

Most of times, kids as “good” characters or even heroes, get on my nerves, because they involve this emotional part totally expendable in the plot. For instance, I don’t know whether you’ve seen 28 Weeks Later…well, let me tell you the kids are two completely assholes, ok, they imply the action starting to develop, but in the end, there’s too much crap which ruins the effect of the film. They just suck!

Kids are cool when they are badasses, because they can be terrible, making you shit on your pants.

The girl in Night of the Living Dead is absolutely gorgeous, but with just few make up, she’s become an icon in horror culture. When affection and innocence vanish, replaced by coldness and evil, children are relentless. Better you step out, otherwise, you’ll be pretty fucked up.

Sure you remember some characters, apparently harmless, which have made you feel uneasy. Wanna feel like creating a list? Here are my top 10 kids I would run away from if I was unlucky to find them by chance:

THE VAMPIRE KID – SALEM’S LOT

I’ve discovered many people in my age got traumatized by this ugly little bastard, scratching at the window with that deadly smile. Most of us watched this chapter hidden from our parents’ sight and then we used to have lots of nightmares. Nowadays you can see the strings holding the vampire, yet those scenes give me the creeps.

THE MUTANT CLONE  BLONDE GIRLS – THE BROOD

With those winter suits covering their ugly faces, those bitches were ruining everything and killing everyone their crazy mother thought were an obstacle.

MALACHAI AND ISAAC – CHILDREN OF THE CORN

Adult people must die! Isaac as a kind of preacher, and Malachai, his closest dog, applying this philosophy and submitting all the kids in town to the worship of “He who walks behind the rows”.

REGAN – THE EXORCIST

No comments needed. It took me many years to get the courage enough to see this film. Everything related to the occult, spirits, the Devil and everything unseen, scares me to death. And this bitch throwing up and twisting her neck 360º makes me sweat…a lot!

THE GRADY TWINS – THE SHINING

Oh my God! With those blue dresses I also used to wear, holding hands, just standing in front of poor Danny Torrance…and that half smile seeming to say: you’re done!

MELANIE ROBERTS AND THE CHILDREN – VILLAGE OF THE DAMNED

These blonde children ready to rule the world, numb and super cold, were capable of terrorizing a whole town, controlling their parents and having psychic powers were too difficult to beat.

DAMIEN – THE OMEN

A classic! Since born, he was a pain in the ass for those obstacles in his race to rule the world. His personal entourage was interesting too…

KAREN COOPER – NIGHT OF THE LIVING DEAD

As already commented, this girl is absolutely gorgeous, but in motion and seeking for living flesh, delivers an image you cannot forget ever. Needless to say, she’s THE  icon of the zombie world.

SADAKO YAMAMURA – THE RING

Beware with videotapes you see…Sadako was right not having her long black hair cut, because she’s so ugly it’s not necessary she does anything else for you to have a heart attack. And her eyes…ufff!

TODD BOWDEN – APT PUPIL

Not to be considered a horror movie, Apt Pupils features Todd Bowden, a teenager decided to blackmail and ruin an old Nazi’s hidden retirement.

What do you say? Any kid this list is missing? Sure! Hope you share them with me ASAP!

2 Responses to “DO NOT MESS WITH THE KIDS!”

  1. Ana Incausa Says:

    Do you know the film “¿Quién puede matar a un niño?” (Chicho Ibañez Serrador, 1976)? It´s a group of children in a small island (no adults), quiets, the empty look crying for revenge (?),… Uf! At first I thought the film was like “Verano Azul” but… How scary! I can see usually the typical -horror-film-scenes, but when the children turn up… ARGGGGGGG! I SHAT MYSELF!

    P.D.: I loves “Eastern Promises”

    La Incausa

  2. Oh Yeah! I saw it looooong time ago, in fact a couple of months ago I was supposed to watch it again, but in the end it stayed on hold. Gotta watch it by all means. I remember the kids were real hijoputas (bastards).

    Glad you love Eastern Promises… the story is really cool, and the way everything’s put together is wonderful.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: